Fronch Duip

Yes, my friends. We are eating at home once again. My lovely spouse is cooking for me yet again. And I would like to take this time to offer a few thoughts on gender roles.

NO! DON'T STOP READING YET! I PROMISE TO MAKE IT SOMEWHAT INTERESTING!

I know that no conversation or "dialogue" about gender roles can be terribly exciting or inventive. Ever since Billy got a doll and we were all Free To Be You and Me, there's not much of a thrill to the whole thing.

But I would like to say that I enjoy baking. Cookies -- love making them. Cupcakes -- wonderful. Anything sweet -- I'm there. It could be connected to the shiny silver mine that is my mouth, but that's not the point. I am a baker, but I don't like to cook.

So it is at times like this that I really love living with someone who enjoys the culinary arts. He's a master of them, in fact. Tonight I am being treated to a lovely Fronch Dip complete with the "with juice." My lovely Fronch husband will be serving up all this to me, as is his fashion. And I recognize that I am lucky.

But I have a bone to pick with all these Edina housewives that keep asking him questions like, "Your wife actually lets you use the kitchen?" (insert lame-o muffy giggles here). Hell yes, I do. Actually, sometimes, he lets me use the kitchen. Women have been trapped in kitchens for centuries -- you want me to go back? Yes? Shall I quit my job and begin to pop out some bratty slobbery children while I'm at it? Alrighty. Sounds like a plan to me. Do I get to ask if the chocolate at Bissinger's is actually their chocolate, and not "some Hershey's bullshit?" Do I get to talk about how my fiance is farty and bloated from the bland spaghetti he cooked? Do I get to drop names of has-been stars and wait for recognition, when none is forthcoming? Do I get to wear white capri pants suits and have frosted highlights? Can I also get my legs waxed up to the knees and wear rings the size of my face?

I don't know. Am I crazy for passing up an opportunity like this?
For sure I should check out that ring thing...