This is it...

The big last MN post. And it will be short, because a friend just telephoned me and asked me for a letter of recommendation. Oh my god. So I've got to get on that. But Buckwalter and I have been working like mad, slap-happy hyenas these past couple of days -- sleep is still a problem, but now that we're so close, it's okay. Lyra the kitty is freaking out a little, but she's keeping her cool better than I had expected. Which is a positive thing. Tomorrow morning I play at the church one last time, then go over to my parents' house for one last steak and corn-on-the-cob lunch. Then it's back here to disassemble couches and entertainment centers. Then we leave! Aha! So, thank you to MN for 24.5 lovely years of service -- if you had a job for me, I'd stay. But sadly for you, Lady Sin has beckoned me. The Sun calls, and the students of my new school, "They callin' me!" So I'm on my way. But not to never come back. See you next summer!

YEAH!

Well, today was the last day with children at my summer job.
But amidst the sadness, I have a lovely Quicktime Treat for all you Lil' Jon fans.

http://www.stolaf.edu/services/upward/UBMovies/ClassroomStaffSkit05.mov

Please enjoy.

There is nothing finer...

than reading Harry Potter out loud with Buckwalter. Some of the voices just keep me laughing in my head for hours...
But right now, we are both plagued with Worry bugs. I don't think either one of us has slept well in the past 2 weeks. And now, with an exciting Bachelor Party looming...yikes. I need to catch up on some sleep quickly.
But why is it that at the times your body and mind need the most rest, you simply cannot get it? It seems like my mind has this death wish for my sanity...and it's working pretty well so far. I lay in bed, trying to fall asleep, and all I can hear is worry..."What about my teaching license?" "Will Edina FINALLY have fingerprinting open on Wednesday?" "What are we doing in class tomorrow?" "Will we be able to sleep okay once we're IN Las Vegas?"
They just never seem to stop! I know I shouldn't complain so much -- this problem plagues Buckwalter much more heavily than it does me, but it still sucks a whole bunch. I need sleep. But can I get a good night's rest? Nope. Not a chance.

Turns out money's sort of important...

Well, it's official. Buckwalter and I will not have sufficient funds to comfortably travel back to MN in Sept. for the Wedding of the Century. We finally made the call after much hmming and hawing and lots of going back and forth. You don't want to miss a wedding of a good friend; on the other hand, you don't want to make a trip that might mean you spend your first three months in a new state broke and using credit cards to pay for everything. I guess we chose not to go broke.
So the dress that I finally found will wallow away in my closet until...well, I guess until our anniversary. That's nice -- it won't have to wallow for too long. Not long at all.
But it will be sad to miss this wedding. Buckwalter no longer a Best Man, I no longer an Usherette. I just hope the remaining Usher and Usherette will catalogue all the happenings at this wedding, and let us know about all untoward or strange things as well as all the little lovely moments. Hopefully pictures will be available.
But luckily, we'll still both be able to participate in the MARVELOUS Bachelor Party -- Lost Weekend I. How joyous. And actually, this one will truly be a Bachelor Party. None of those participating are quite sure what exactly will happen to this friendship after the wedding. It's become a concern -- and hopefully there will be no need for worry. But you never can tell, when situations like this arise.
Since I'm discussing in completely cryptic terms, I shall end this blog with one note:
Marathon Man -- if you are reading this, you should contact Buckwalter to learn some interesting (and frustrating) facts about some people who wish to know the whereabouts of our lost weekend. Don't worry -- it's not bad or anything -- just typical and funny. And sort of annoying.
Although we shall all rise above the annoyment (is that a word?) like a great Phoenix rising from several Tequila shots.

Another awesome student paper moment

Check out this adorable typo:
"I stopped going where I was heading to go and eve drops."
So cute.
Usually spelling mistakes are just annoying, but not when they come up with creative solutions like this.
Also, my teaching partner and I also agree that the quote from the last post has to be a secret "sexy" joke. Also.

A testicle joke?

I don't know, team, you tell me.
In a story written by a student about a squirrel that gets hit on the head by a volleyball, the last line is this:
"Every now and then they hit me with their balls, but I don't mind anymore."
I report, and you decide.

Harry Potter and the Half-Banned Prince

Wowsers. Check out this story at CNN.com
First of all, I love the Harry Potter books. They are fun, awesome, and all that jazz.
But is this really news?
Of course, most people are probably like me, and whether they think it's news or not, still, we click on that little news link just to hear maybe a tidbit of what this book's going to be about. Oops. Caught me red-handed here (or perhaps, half-blooded...)
But wow! Those poor people who somehow got their hands on it early are ordered by a judge to not even read it? Goodness gracious me.
Seems like it might be a lovely illegal and guilty pleasure to read it anyway.
Actually, I bet I do know what happens in this book. Let me hazard a guess, if you will:
The first chapter reveals something to us that we won't recognize until later, and will not be about Harry at all.
Then, Harry has something weird happen to him.
Then, he goes back to school, only to find that weird things are happening there.
Then, around Halloween, something EXTREMELY weird will happen, and all of Hogwarts will be in an uproar.
Then, the year will go by somewhat boringly for the reader until...
Spring comes!
And suddenly the shit will hit the fan!
And EVERYTHING will go weird.
And then Harry will do something spectacular that has something to do with how his parents saved him.
And then Dumbledore will talk with him about it.
And then it'll be the end.

Somewhere in there, there will also be several awkward romantic moments, causing the reader to wonder, "Who will end up with who? Hermione and Ron? Harry and Hermione? Ron and Harry? WE JUST DON'T KNOW!"
I do love these books so. Partly because of the formula, I guess. Partly because they're so fun to read out loud. And you should hear Buckwalter as Professor Lupin. It's an instant classic.

Hm Hm Hm...

La ti da. I love my summer job. I have just helped a lovely little child figure out the piano part to a song. Ho hum.
Seriously -- I really will miss this job when we move away. It's so awesome, and you just can't get any better than these kids! But right now one of them is glancing at my computer screen, so I'll write more about how lovely they are later.

Here's the really interesting question about this "stay-at-home mom" business. Why is there this sudden rush for all these young women to stay at home? What causes this? The boring answer that you will undoubtedly hear is, "Because family values are becoming more important."
Once again, uh huh.
My biggest thought is that we have reverted to this "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" junk. This thought was originally Buckwalter's, and I applaud it. We spent all this time when the feminist movement really got chugging convincing people that men and women should be equal. Then, some time around when this book came along, or thereabouts, it wasn't about that anymore. It was about how special and caring and loving women are, and how aggressive and violent and macho men are. Or that's my understanding. True, I have not read said book, but that's because the idea of reading that book curdles my stomach acid.
Anyway, suddenly women were to be revered again. Put upon a pedestal. Called Princess. Taught once more to value their virginity and their womanhood as a precious stone, and soon sex ed. classes were talking about your "special flower" and handing out roses to make people really consider these serious issues.
Problem? Yes. If women are to be revered as the most precious things in life, then suddenly equality is gone. What happened to wanting to be a banker? What happened to wanting to work on the railroad?
These issues all tie together -- we cannot be equal unless we make ourselves equal. That means an equal share of income. An equal share of housework. An equal share of kid time. An equal share of "caring" and "aggressive natures."
I feel as though I'm going around and around a roundabout. That's probably because I am. But people just make me so angry.
So where do I fit in in the the "Venus/Mars" argument? With things like this, I feel as though I could wrap your eyeballs around your head twice if you cross me. Other times, and with TOTALLY other people, I can be that caring, sharing, Greek goddesse of love (that's French for "goddess.") This is not something you can tie up in a neat little package with cute little frilly fonts and just say, "Well, it's all a part of God's plan. Men are violent. Women are hormonal wrecks. Let's praise..."
Right now I just wish my hands-free cell phone part hadn't been ripped asunder in a freak car seat accident so that I could vent verbally a little more to poor Buckwalter.
Poor Buckwalter...hopefully he doesn't mind these little outbursts.
Most days I actually feel the most like this lovely lady of the silver screen: demure...

Also...

If those two links I put in the last post are run by people who STAY AT HOME, why does their web design suck so much?

Now, I know what you'd say...

Most people who are currently stay-at-home moms (remember, they're not housewives) would say to me, "But you don't know how hard being a mother is. It's like a full time job! It's so hard."
To this I say thusly:
I have no thoughts in my head that it isn't hard to be a mother. But what about being a father? Isn't that hard too? Hey, and how about if you have to get some income at the same time? Doesn't that make it all just that much harder? So how about instead of using this lame-o argument we just skip the argument part and go straight to the part where you realize your comments upheld my belief that modern "stay-at-home moms" are self-centered and self-serving? That'd be much easier.
Although I do so enjoy this soapbox.
Seriously -- it's definitely my favorite thing to complain about because it makes the women I'm talking about so angry. They hate it when you point out their dependence.
But the biggest reason this problem needs to be addressed AND SOLVED in young women?
With all these stay-at-home moms on the loose, WHY ARE CHILDREN BECOMING LESS AND LESS WELL-BEHAVED?
What do these women do all day? That's an actual question! What do they do? Their children are noisy, ill-mannered, rude, and usually a little bit violent. What's happening here? I thought it was the day cares that were going to turn a sweet child into a monster, not their mothers!

Anyway, I'm sure I'll be back with this issue. It definitely feels good to vent a little here. As you can see, this is an issue I feel mildly strongly about.

Here's a couple of fun links:
This one is a lovely little online place for stay-at-home moms. Make sure you check out the workout page. Heavens, can you believe that this woman was once a size 10? How on earth could she let herself go like that?

Here's a great idea. What if you just went back to REAL work after your kid goes to school? That's a nice middle ground. I'll give you 5 years at home and then you're only partly selfish. How about that?

The more I search on google for other websites, and the more websites I check out, the angrier I get.
Don't kid yourself -- being a stay-at-home mom in this day and age is a selfish, selfish thing. It has nothing to do with your children. It has everything to do with your children. It's all about you, and you know it.
So there.

The biggest soapbox I know

I don't say terribly many controversial things on this little doo-dad, but now my time has come.
There are too many women approximately or exactly my age who are planning to become stay-at-home moms.
That's the beginning statement. Let me clarify my point of view here.
If you are a modern woman, you are not a stay-at-home mom. If your greatest desire in life is to stay at home with your children, you are not a feminist. If you have decided to become a breeder for the rest of your life until old age sets in, you do not get to talk about the "degradation of women in society." These are things that do not go together.
So many times I hear women who are advocates of staying at home with children settle their minds with this simple sentence. "Feminism is about choice, and I'm making a choice."

Uh huh.

Actually, that's not it. Feminism is about independence. It was about the independence to get OUT of the home, financial independence, and independence from any other human being, if you wished it. Choice is what LIFE is about. Feminism? That's something different.
I don't have a quarrell with women who decide to be a stay-at-home mom (and by the way, when did it change from "housewife" to "stay-at-home mom?") and are honest about their life. As long as they don't make any claims towards being a feminist or being independent or being some sort of advocate for women in a political way, it's totally fine. Then it's their decision.
If they enter into the falsehoods that most "modern women" enter into when they give up their jobs for babies, that's when my blood starts to boil.
A Truth : If you are staying at home every day to take care of your children, you are not independent. Independent people live off their own money. They do not NEED to rely on someone else to put food on their table. They do not NEED to rely on anyone's help to make sure they can buy new clothes. They do not NEED to borrow the checkbook to get gas. If you are independent, you have your own source of income. The only exception to this rule is if you are a housewife who worked an extremely lucrative job and was able to retire before having children, is now staying at home and living entirely on your own past paychecks. Not bloodly likely.
A Nother Truth : If you have decided to become a stay-at-home mom, then it is your job to raise children, have children, and care for children. Since you have set yourself up as someone who breeds, becomes pregnant, and then mothers as your ONLY source of daily work, you don't get to complain about the supposed "degradation" of women in society. You have degraded yourself by denying yourself any independence. You have turned yourself into a sex and baby machine. You have become part of the problem -- not any kind of a solution. Hip hop and rap are for entertainment -- what you're doing is a serious business. Don't complain about people who talk a certain way for entertainment when you have changed your entire life into a walking example of degradation.

This subject makes me so mad. I'm starting to go cross-eyed. And to those of you who are wondering, "why does she get so mad about this?" Here's the answer: these women are self-centered and bogus. They are not thinking about what a wonderful life they can create for their children. They're thinking purely about themselves -- how nice it would be to be with your child all day long; how cool it would be to let someone else worry about bills and money. They degrade themselves in the name of themselves. Plus -- they are so self-righteous about it. These are the women who say things like, "you'd actually put your child in daycare?" As if it's the most unthinkable action in the world. These are the women who I hate and loathe and cannot stand to discourse with.
There. More to add later.

First of all...

I recant my posting about The Egyptologist. If you can make it through the sort-of boring and drudgy first 100 pages, it actually turns into an exhilerating read. Confusion sets in, and you really become invested in your own sleuthiness -- can you figure out what exactly is happening here? It's cool -- and the epistelary writing is necessary, you find out at the end. Neato book. Good vacation read. I can't wait until Buckwalter finishes it, because I'm ready to talk with someone about it!

So, on another note, the trip to the Mojave was a success. Buckwalter and I have tenatively secured an apartment with a lovely pool and a cute little rounded door! I'm a sucker for rounded doors... We also visited my school and met my principal -- all very lovely.

The thing that was most amazing for me was the realization that this is real. Buckwalter has always wanted to live somewhere other than Minnesota -- from my understanding, he's always wanted to live ANYWHERE but Minnesota. But when he joined forces with me, we both ended up making some compromises on our own visions for our individual lives -- I guess that's sort of the way marriages have to go. And living here was one thing I have always been grateful to him for -- I never wanted to move before.
But this year and the year before that, I realized that the life I want to live can't happen in this state. It's been kind of tough to finally see that, but it's definitely the truth. I want a nice house, but the career I've chosen for myself is one that won't see big income for a long time. I want a good, secure job, and I'm not going to wait 5 years to make sure I get the job I want -- and that's definitely not going to happen in this state. I don't know -- so many things that I just expected to happen to me ended up being much more difficult than I had thought they would be -- and still more difficult than I think they need to be.
The Mojave is like my own little oasis. I loved the dry air. The hot sun felt great. It reminded me of a great short story by D. H. Lawrence, called "Sun" which everyone should read. The people were honest, nice, and friendly, without the snobbiness and facade of "Minnesota Nice," which more and more I believe only exists in some small towns in Minnesota and has completely vanished from an suburban, urban, or exurban areas of the metro.
In conclusion (now I've turned on my 5 paragraph essay skills), I am so ready to move. Now that we've been there, I feel like we should be moved right now. Sadly, there's a long trip in our future, with a kitty who probably isn't going to like being in a car for two days straight. And at the end of that awaits a move-in process, which we're going to want to finish before noon.
But after having seen all that I saw last week, I'm now certain that at the end of that move-in process awaits the success of a good decision, the healing heat of the desert sun, and a constant mountain view. Hooray!